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Fake Disease

The wind whistles when it passes through your ribs
It makes your joints, that are so brittle, creak
Your hair is withered, like spider webs in the breeze

When you come near, infants cry in their cribs
Little girls whimper and can no longer speak
You make them too afraid, even of the trees

With your fragile wrists and your sunken eyes
You cannot even tell them that you are not a monster
For your throat is too dry and lips too cracked

And even you know that they are lies
The creature within you is like a cancer
But in the minds of others, it makes little impact


Whispers

Unlike the rest, I dislike music
The sounds of beats pounding 
behind the strums of strings 
only brings my ears annoyance
It is the voice of the songstress
that draws me in
So natural do the vibrations of her 
throat resonate into my heart

The voices of these beings bring me
such content
I can listen for hours to them speak
No, not a sound escapes my lips
But their exquisite “um’s” and “ah’s”
surpass all other noise
Different articulation for different people
Accents and twangs
The quick manner a tongue pronounces
it’s “T’s”
And the roundness of their lips when
saying “Oh”

Though I enjoy the singer
And the talker makes me melt
Only one can tear me down to something
deeper than love itself

Whisper
Whispers
Whisper to me before I fall asleep
And my slumbering mind will be free of
terror
The silent hissing with no “S’s”
The gentle ticking of the tongue
And their lips seem to stop the motion
of words
Though I hear them clearly

I long for that whisper
Whispers carry secrets
Whispers carry assurance
Love
And tenderness
Whisper to me before I fall asleep
Whisper your secrets into my dreams
Whisper an assurance of terror free nights
Whisper that you love me without waking me
Whisper your tenderness until I love you more

Anxiety Attack

What am I doing
I’m wasting my life
I’ve made so many mistakes
but I’m not supposed to live in the past
but those memories haunt my present
and the future fucking terrifies me

I’m going no where in life
I’m a huge failure
I have no friends
I’m going to let my family down
I have no talent
my grades are horrible
my life is basically over

I want to escape
I can’t breathe
I can’t fucking breathe
I have no one to talk to

I just want to run away
I keep looking around and I feel like that’s my only option
I need to run away
everyone will hate me
but everyone already hates me
should I do it?
should I run away
if I stay here things will only get worse

I’m so scared
I’m so fucking scared and I don’t even know why
it’s just this irrational fear that keeps me rigid
I can’t tell if I’m hungry or full
I can’t tell if I’m happy or sad
I’m just so fucking terrified

of my self

Sleepless Without Chances

I can lay in bed for hours
So tired, but sleep never comes
The time only seems to go slower
While my head throbs with nostalgia
and makes my eyes sting hot

Tell me what I should have done
One last time, I need to hear it
Where did I go wrong?
Maybe I can fix things
I wanted to be everything for you
Why can’t I just be everything for you?

List it, write it
The mustakes I have done
Cut it, and tear it
Open so that I can run
Leave it behind us
Give me another chance, just one

Goodbye

Our final words did not feel so

There was no looming end in our tones

A professional eavesdropper would not have guessed at your hidden farewell

I waited for you the following day

But you went on as though it were over

My pathetic assumptions led me to believe you were simply busy

Unfortunately that was not the case

Little did I know it was indeed the end

You went on without me

Yet you seemed unable to remove my name from your mouth

Resulting in others perceiving me as a vile and cruel being

One that tramples on the hearts of others without a hint of remorse

Twice now, have I made the mistake of being myself towards someone I care for

Twice now, have I been deceived and betrayed by those I trust most

The others can believe your words just how they believed his

But I know the difference

The liar’s intentions had nothing but personal self pity

While you were simply too frightened to confront me of the truth

Taint my name

Hand out the image of a heartless woman, if you must

But do not expect me to clarify,

When it was you that left without a goodbye.

A portrait.

With swift fingers and trembling hands,

you are the answer to every question.

I dive deep into the oceans of your soul.

Finding so much more.

Your exterior, lacking the creativity of your insides.

Every inch of you, a canvas.

Freshly painted.

With scars and bruises, carefully covered.

Your curves beckoning me.

Brick by brick, my tattered hands tear down your tattered walls.

We are not much different,

you and I.

Searching and yearning.

Years upon years.

(Source: sittingincircles)

Bright corners.

In every solemn corner 

of your life,

you find bright corners.

But every day is difficult.

Every day is hard.

Bright corners, dimming at dusk.

Until all is dark.

Blindly walking, blindly afraid.

It feels like forever.

An eternity at least.

But if you look past your fear,

the stars shine.

Brightness.

Pink Lips To Kiss

Pink lips to kiss

When will I enjoy this bliss you gave me?

Olive skin to caress

When will I get out of this mess you gave me?

Nothing left to talk about,

You didn’t love me anyways

The pain you gave me,

Unbearable, it’s terrible,

That you left me

The green in your eyes

Is slowly fading

The yellow in your hair

Is dulling

What’s the matter my darling?

Regretting what you gave me?

Nothing left to talk about,

You didn’t love me anyways

The pain you gave me,

Unbearable, it’s terrible,

That you left me

All of the lies that you bestowed onto me

Everywhere I look, I see you

How am I supposed to forget now?

How am I supposed to live when there’s no more you?

These bright colors are blinding me,

I’m losing your faint outline

Pink lips to kiss

When will I enjoy this bliss you gave me?

Olive skin to caress

When will I get out of this mess you gave me?

Nothing left to talk about,

You didn’t love me anyways

The pain you gave me,

Unbearable, it’s terrible,

Nothing left to talk about,

You didn’t love me anyways

The pain you gave me,

Unbearable, it’s terrible,

That you left me

If Only

No matter where I head, I can’t escape you

The lies you spread keep catching up to me

Months may go by, you seem to have disappeared

Yet they all remember you in such high light

Leaving me clearing up the rumors alone

It’s painful to hear what they all think of me

Every day I realize more and more of your wickedness

To go back and prevent myself from meeting you,

is a dream come true

If only I ended it before you hurt me

If only I never fell in love

If only I never met you

If only

(Source: sittingincircles)

Give Me Bait

Where do we go from here?

There is very little that makes sense

All of our dreams are in that last tear

Once fluid, our moments together are tense

You are scared to show me

It is obvious you have much to learn

I crave attention, don’t you see?

My love is something you have to earn

Through constant romancing

And many nights of pleading

I need your longing gaze, not this glancing

Now my interest is slowly bleeding

Away from you, and it might be too late

Give me something worth craving

Like a mermaid taking the bait

I wanted us to last forever like an engraving

At least I made no promise, no vow

I can’t see myself holding on for much longer now